Pearls of Wisdom

A week ago I was racing down the stairs of the Church on my way home to fetch Lia and the girls in the interval between morning meetings and worship service. On my way out the door I passed Herman Emery, a retired gentleman in his mid-60s and a convert of a couple years standing. Herman gives character to our ward, punctuating songs and sermons with "Amens!" and "Yessirs!" and providing monthly testimony-meeting updates on the interposition of Providence in the matter of his credit card bills (and those are the tame testimonies). Herman is a great talker, and running into him when one is in a hurry can be a parlous affair. On this occasion, however, he only stopped me to impart a bit of avuncular advice. "Are you on your way home to pick up that little girl"--meaning Julia--"who folds her arms like this?" (here he demonstrated). I replied in the affirmative, drawing forth this happy prescription/prophecy: "Well, if you just keep raising those little girls the way you've been raising them"--a pause for effect--"none of them will ever see the inside of a jail cell." Anticipating my incredulity at the magnitude of such a prediction, Herman went on: "You know there are kids that ain't never seen the inside of a jail cell. And it's because they've got parents who teach them. And when they've got parents who teach them, they've got no reason to want to go against the law. And so they don't ever see the inside of a jail cell." He concluded: "Anyhow, I just thought I'd stop you to tell you that if you keep doing what you're doing, those girls will never see the inside of a jail cell." I have no higher ambition.

A few days later I was further enlightened when, in the middle of our morning's pre-pancake session in the Book of Mormon, Eli looked at me, beaming, and burbled, "Daddy, you look like Alma!" One can only hope the Alma she has in mind is the chiseled baptist envisioned by Arnold Friberg or, better still, one of the bare-chested brethren Friberg pictured at water's edge: http://www.lds.org/hf/art/print/picture/0,16989,4218-1-3-96,00.html.