August 24, 2008

With Barack Obama’s choice of Joe Biden as his running mate, the world can only await with fear and trembling the torrent of verbiage that must explode from this union of the nation’s most self-regardingly formidable orator with the Senate’s most titanic bloviator. There may never have been a political duo as enchanted by the sounds—sonorous in one case, merely annoying in the other—of their own voices. But how better to prepare oneself for this inevitable onslaught than by perusing this most sesquipedalian of blogs? For your sake, then, dear Reader, we offer you the latest installment of our illustrious Review.

[Photo note: Julia shared a sticker Aunt Jini sent her from Germany with Katherine. The girls both share a lot of things with Katherine, including their broccoli and peas. The other day I complimented Eli--who loves broccoli even more than jam-and-butter bread--on how well she eats her vegetables. "Yeah!" She said as she stuck out her elbows with both fists next to her ears. "See my big muscles?" I then got myself a helping of broccoli and told her Katherine was following her good example in eating her broccoli. "Yeah," she agreed, striking her pose again. "And when she comes out of your belly, she'll say, 'See my big, huge muscles?'"]

Monday (8.18.2008): Lia took Eli to the doctor for a look at her eyes, one of which has lately seemed a touch lazy. An appointment with a full-fledged eye doctor later in the week would reveal she needs glasses. We had a family home evening lesson about building our foundations on the rock of our Redeemer, the object lesson of which featured Lia and Eli constructing a block tower on the foundation of a solid chair while Justin and Julia tried to build a similar foundation atop a large plastic ball. Thankfully, the results were those planned and supported the premise of the lesson. The great highlight, of course, was singing “The Wise Man and the Foolish Man”—a misguided title which makes these anonymous fellows, rather than the rock itself, the protagonist of the tale—several times, complete with the immortal actions. We went all out on the FHE treats: animal crackers and—O, luxury and indulgence untrammeled!—milk.

Tuesday (8.19.2008): Eli awoke from her nap very early this afternoon, beaming with the pride of achievement that came from being awake and alone with her parents while Julia slept on. Lia and the girls had gone to the beach in the morning, a successful outing the happiness of which was made perfect by the girls’ getting to ride on the Lighthouse carousel. At bedtime, Justin asked Julia to help with the cleaning of her hurricane-ravaged bedroom. “No!” she roared, in a peremptory tone of strident defiance. “I will NOT!!!” This could not be brooked. Such a blast admitted of neither mercy nor clemency. Julia was sentenced to lie on her bed throughout the bedtime ritual of story, prayer, and song. She was to stay in bed till morning. While Justin was putting away some of the girls’ effects in the living room, Lia walked into the girls’ room just in time to hear Julia grumbling most piteously. “Mommy,” she groaned, “I am in punishment for TWELVE hours.” Then, following a heavy sigh: “I can’t even believe it!”—a further light moan—“A twelve hour punishment!” “Aren’t you glad you’ll get to sleep through most of it?” Lia rosily replied. But Julia just buried her head in the mattress, convulsed with incredulity at the heavy hand of harsh justice.

Wednesday (8.20.2008): Justin and Lia went to a professional tennis match for the first time in their lives’ this evening, watching Daniela Hantuchova defeat Olga Govortsova 3-6, 6-2, 7-6. Hantuchova was the crowd favorite and Lia, ever the enemy of consensus, cheered wildly (by tennis standards) for Govortsova. But Fate delights in thwarting Lia’s desires—usually, though not in this case, by granting Justin’s (hence the otherwise inexplicable fact of their marriage)—and her support likely cost Govortsova the match. Julia, meanwhile, threw up a mighty resistance as babysitters Jen and Walker Frahm tried in vain to induce her to sleep. The resistance continued well after her parents’ return.

Thursday (8.21.2008): Justin stayed home as the family joined together to babysit Jerome Bombenza, one of Julia’s fellow sunbeams. Jerome’s father, Johnny, is a single-parent refugee from the Congo who has been training for a new job and members of the ward have been tending Jerome while Johnny earns the initial costs of outside child care. We had fun, and we think Jerome did too. Jerome is paralyzed from the ankles down, but scoots and crawls with such celerity that he was hardly less mobile than Julia and Eli. In yet another instance of the unexampled tact of the Collings children, Eli asked in puzzlement, “Jerome, why do you crawl around like a baby?” Last week Julia told the bishop’s two-year-old daughter that she “looks funny” in her new glasses. Jerome was with us from 7 am to 3 pm; everyone was tired, Jerome most of all, when Justin took him home. But we all had fun.

Friday (8.22.2008): Eli had her eye doctor appointment today. Justin stayed home with Julia, who begged to be allowed to play chess. Justin consented, and Julia spent the better part of an hour trying to the taxation of her father’s patience to move her “ponds” in directions never countenanced nor envisioned by the rules of chess. Julia’s moves were so irrational that it was hard for Justin to respond to them; even after he stopped cutting his daughter considerable slack it was hard to finish her off. Julia enjoyed herself hugely, and endearingly referred to captured pieces as being “in time out.” Lia learned in the meantime that Eli needs glasses and will have to wear a patch over her dominant (left) eye for four hours each day for the next month or so. She started this process Saturday and has borne this new trial with a steely resolve.

In the evening we babysat Maren Wallace while her parents saw the Elm Shakespeare Company perform Thornton Wilder’s The Matchmaker. Maren was mostly well behaved but, as bedtime neared, she erupted. We were at a total loss. Justin sang every hymn he knows—which means most of the big green book—in an effort to soothe her. This finally had some effect, but she never went to sleep, though she did lie motionless in a portable crib in the master bedroom long enough to make us wonder. Maren, needless to say, was happy to see her parents again.

Saturday (8.23.2008): In the morning Justin took Julia to a primary activity while Lia took Eli to the optician. Justin, in a fit of paternal support, promptly stole away to the relief society room where he read essays by Hugh Nibley in resplendent, rejuvenating peace. Lia, with her more hands-on parenting style, helped Eli get fitted out for her new glasses. By all accounts, she is adorable in them, though her actual pair will not be here until early next week. In the afternoon we participated in a “family scavenger hunt” hosted by the graduate school for new students with kids (a nice gesture—the law school has apparently never envisioned the existence of such persons). This consisted of walking from one historic New Haven site to another or, in Julia’s case, of galumphing merrily about to the deafening tune of her slip-slapping flip flops. In the evening, the Wallaces repaid us by watching the girls while Justin and Lia saw the ESC perform Hamlet. Neither of us had seen a live performance of Hamlet before, so this was a special thrill. The performance was solid and the evening delightful. The script wasn’t bad either.