Banner Day in Collings History

The real reason we have spent the last four days trying to catch up this year....

We made our first family foray into the joys of rowing!!! Lia has been enamored by rowing for going on three decades now, and a dream of family regattas since at least rowing on the Arno in Italy with some regularity. Julia was the only one who supported this dream with any sort of enthusiasm, but she also happened to be the only one who had done more rowing than just the erg in our bedroom. Stumbling upon June 6th, International Rowing Day, all other obligations were tossed aside and the family headed north to the Great Salt Lake. Only 13+ were allowed in the boats, and perhaps we'll have someone who actually participated detail a little more about what actually happened, but by the end, everyone now shares my hopes for a four and, eventually, our own family (coxed, since number nine is on the way) eight.

 While the older kids rowed, Elinor, Gabriel, Miriam, and Lia bathed in the Great Salt Lake. Here are the salty remains of Gsbriel's venture. Gwyn borrowed Lia's Nikes for her rowing instruction and a big gust took one of them into the water while Gwyn was getting out of the boat (you row in socks). Lia could hardly get her foot inside the next morning after all that salt water had dried on it! If nothing else, rowing on the Great Salt Lake affords a very unique experience.

Luckily, one of the rowers herself has agreed to share her experience on this banner day in Collings history from seat 3 of her four. Gwyn, we turn the computer to you:

And the winds did blow, didn't they?

We came to this beautiful(in a manner of speaking)lake at about 8:00 in the morning, which is ordinarily the time that Gwyn and Katharine lift our lovely heads from our lovely pillows with a lovely yawn. However, since La Mamasita and La Papasita who agrees with La Mamasita in all things were certain rowing was an event worth waking up at 1:23 for, we tolerated.

We arrived in the blazing Sahara heat, our noses engulfed in the sweet scent of salted eggs and sweaty toned rowers. The latter were very happy to see us. "We love it when families come! And of course it's"---in a whisper as though they were passing national security information--- "all right if Gwyn goes. Even if she is far from 13+!"

So Gwyn was snuck in. Luckily she didn't look like most of the shrimpy pathetic eleven-year-olds that this generation presents so often, more like a 17. 

It was very hot, but the sweaty toned rowers had kindly provided CapriSuns for us while we waited for the boat.

Abdiel was very grumpy about the whole ordeal. So you see, dear reader, our young friend Abdiel is under the impression that any sport he isn't good at hardly quailfies as a sport. Moreover, this activity is listed on the catalogue as "Highly Useless in Every Way" and is not worth the effort of the High and Mighty AJC #33, King of the football field. And this High and Mighty AJC #33 was told he wasn't rowing the right way by these sweaty toned rowers. Hence the fury and rage of his Royal Highness Abdiel Collings.

Gwyn had foolishly worn slides, but can we blame her, for she did not know she would be silently snuck into the rowing district as though a sack of potatoes in a prison camp. So she switched with Mommy for running shoes.

This was a bad idea. We shall come to that in a moment, dear reader.

When Gwyn and Katharine escorted their lovely heads down the lovely ravine to the lovely boat, they were informed that you did not row in running shoes, you row in odd metal things that give the effect of shoes stuck to the bottom of the boat. So they removed their shoes and stuck them in the corner of the dock.

As I aforementioned in the opening of the narration, the winds did blow, and even sweaty toned rowers can't launch a boat when the wind is blowing them the other way. So Katharine and Gwyn sat their lovely selves in the lovely boat on the lovely lake with lovely insects(NOT)for probably ten minutes before they could finally launch.

Once they did, it was very pleasant until the lovely insects(I'm afraid I stretched the truth with that particular adjective. They were what came down on Adam and Eve after they were cast out of the Garden) decided they should try to nest on Katharine and Gwyn's lovely heads. 

They stayed there until the boat's inhabitants began rowing.

'STROKE, flip, GLIDE, flip, STROKE, flip, GLIDE, flip...wait, what is Katharine doing? Youch, I'm falling behind! Why is the sweaty toned rower in the front going so fast? Heavens, Katharine, you need your paddles in the water! GET AWAY, BUGS!'

Just repeat this small dialogue over and over in your head to get an idea of what First Attempt at Gliding was like.

Second Attempt was different in that we were far more syncronized, Sweaty Toned Rower in front slowed down enough so that we could catch up, and the bugs decided Katharine and Gwyn weren't quite as lovely as they'd thought and so not a great nesting ground.

Rowing was very enjoyable this second time and we could see what La Mamasita meant in saying rowing in water is very fun.

Right when we got back to the dock, the winds began to blow again.

And O! the poor shoes that Katharine and Gwyn had left by the dock---poor, mistreated shoes that shouldn't have had to be there---took a huge gust and toppled off into the water.

Gwyn decided to be heroic and launched out her arm, rescuing La Mamasita's shoes in a mighty swing. Katharine rescued her own shoes herself, without quite the heroic effect. She simply extended her arm and picked up the shoes by the laces.

The two walked their lovely shoes up the lovely ravine, their lovely socks containing lovely feet that were horrifically prickled by the rocks.

La Mamasita wasn't too mad about her shoes' dive into a larvae-infested lake. I suppose she was just glad Gwyn didn't take a dive into the larvae-infested lake, which her family does not put past her. You couldn't blame them, really, after she fell into the river at Battlecreek when she was six. 

So La Familia Madrigal went home happy despite the shoes, which had salted so badly they were encrusted stiff and it took La Mamasita quite an effort to get them on for her run the next day.

In all it was rather nice. Rather nice, I suppose. Really rather nice.

-G. A. C.