Sunday Funnies

 We used to be much better about recording the funny things our children said. But since it is a new year, and we have a new baby, and we have a new resolve to chronicle the happenings of our growing crew, we will take a moment to record a few highlights before jumping into more pressing matters.

First in the line-up is Abdiel. Abdiel is one of those children--like his special sibling before him--who isn't particularly pleased when he has been funny. But sometimes he just can't help it. Like the other day, puttering around the kitchen while Justin ate his lunch after teaching class. 

Abdiel: "Dad, do you have a favorite sound?"

Justin: "Yes, the sound of your mother's voice."

Abdiel: "Hmm. I have two favorite sounds. Do you know what they are?"

Julia: "Let me guess. The bloop?"

Abdiel, giving her a thumbs up: "Yes! And do you know the other?"

Justin and Julia, very intrigued: "What?"

Abdiel, running over to Justin and putting his cheek right on Justin's working mandible: "The sound of you CHEWING!"

*****

During the month of December we saw more movies in the theater than we have in our collective family life combined thanks to free tickets from our food drive donation and there not being too many other COVID kosher options available to improve our shining moments. One of the inexplicable advertisements before each of the four classic Christmas movies we saw was of a 70+ cattle rancher from Ephraim telling about his experience being treated for prostate cancer at Timpanogos Hospital. "And that's why I say, 'Take me to Timp!'" he'd drawl through a dentured smile at the end of the ad. 

Weeks later, on a Sunday drive to get the kids out of the house while Justin and I attended our Zoom Sunday School class, Julia took everyone up to American Fork. They passed the Timpanogos temple. 

"Oh! What temple is that?' Abdiel asked.

"Timpanogos," came the response.

"Oh yeah, oh yeah," replied Abdiel, nodding. "I remember. And that's why I say, 'Take me to Timp!'"

*****

Recently--though not too recently now, since I have been trying very hard not to do any cooking since Gabriel's arrival--I made biscuits for breakfast. Gwyn emerged from playing downstairs and saw the delicacy baking in the oven. 

"Oh! May I lick the bowl?!" she asked excitedly.

"I'm so sorry! I already filled it with water to wash it," I responded.

"Mom!" Gwyn reprimanded, "You have to THINK before you ACT!!!"

*****

More recently than the above, Julia, with whom Gwyndelin shares a room, was standing before her dresser mirror with her hair wrapped up in a towel after her shower. Gwyn stood next to her, looking admiringly and wistfully at her grown-up, sixteen year old sister.

"I can't wait until I am old enough to wrap my hair up in a towel," she cooed.

"Yeah? Why do you want to be old enough to wrap your hair up in a towel?" asked Julia.

"Because then I can look like a JIGGAMONSTER and SCARE everyone!"

******

Gwyn hasn't quite yet developed the same love for dance that Katharine has. Every Friday around 3:30 there is great debate on whether she will be attending her 3:45 class at all. This last Friday she almost had had quite enough.

"I am just going to QUIT dance!" roared Gwyn, storming out of the laundry room where she was supposed to be donning her footwear. 

"Why, Gwyn?" Justin asked, nonplussed, as he continued gathering up his keys and wallet in order to drive her to dance.

"Because then I will not have to spend another NERVE-WRACKING day looking for my TAP shoes!!!" 

*****

A very long time ago indeed, when seventh grade Katharine was a new third grader who had just skipped second grade and was finding her math impossible and thus her teacher (moi) even worse, we were all having a hard time. I thought allowing Katharine an objective perspective on her behavior would help it to improve, so I shot a little video of our math interactions on my phone. This little video was rediscovered recently by Elisabeth; she found it hilarious. All found it hilarious, in fact, except me,  who felt post traumatic stress disorder coming on and vivid memories of why I had turned math instruction very happily over to Justin. Gwyn, a budding fashionista, also felt some sort of trauma coming on at viewing this, but from a very different cause. 

Where most of the video focused on Katharine's sour, defiant, skeptical, and/or snarky seven year old face, toward the end of the video it zoomed out to a full-body shot.

"Ew!!" responded Gwyndelin to the image. "What on earth is she wearing?!"

To a girl who has grown up fully in the era of skinny jeans, Katharine's hand-me-down bootcuts from Julia were quite a relic, but Elisabeth identified them as "bell bottoms". 

Later in the day, Elisabeth told Katharine she should see this grumpy video they had unearthed of her.

"Oh, yeah, Katharine," Gwyn enthused. "You have to see this video. You are so grumpy, and you are wearing BELL-BUNGS!"

*****

Where our children are often funny by accident, Justin is always funny o'purpose. Here are a couple great ones lately:

<After the kids were recounting what they'd learned in biology recently:> What do you call a cell that's sick all the time? A mitochondriac.

<After everyone had viewed the aforementioned video of Katharine and were discussing how some people start being teenagers well before their time:> Who was the most destructive teenager of all time? The Guillo-Teen.